Tim Akano
For over three decades, mentorship has been more than an activity for me; it has been a calling. I have over 2000 mentees and have learnt many things from working closely with young people across different backgrounds, capacities, and aspirations. The most striking of these lessons is simple but often misunderstood: academic results and institutional prestige do not determine success in life.
Over the years, I have watched children earn degrees from highly respected universities and still struggle to find their footing in life, while others who did not shine academically went on to build thriving careers and businesses. The degree a child earns, or the university they attend, does not define the height they will reach in life. I have personally seen a third-class graduate employ a first-class graduate in their own establishment. That reality alone should challenge the way we measure success.
Parents must begin to understand that the real goal is not necessarily to have a first-class degree, but having a first class in life. Academic excellence is valuable, but it is not the only currency that matters in life. Life rewards competence, character, resilience, and relevance. When parents fixate solely on grades, they risk overlooking the broader preparation their children truly need to succeed.
One of the most damaging mistakes parents can make is pushing their children into pressure and depression in the name of achievement. Instead of parents engaging in constant comparison and unrealistic expectations, children need to be provided with essential life skills. These include interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence skills, communication skills, leadership capacity, discipline, and the courage to take calculated risks. These skills are what sustain success long after certificates have been framed and forgotten.
Mentorship has also taught me that success is individually oriented. There is no single blueprint that works for every child. Every child is different just like the individual difference theory propounded by Sir Francis Galton (a psychologist) in the 19th century asserts that human behaviour, cognition and personality are influenced by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. This theory emphasizes the importance of understanding individual differences to predict and explain behaviour more accurately. I have mentored young people who studied the same course but ended up excelling in entirely different fields. For instance, Abraham and Nicolette both graduated with a first class from the Department of International Relations at Obafemi Awolowo University. Today, Abraham is a consultant, while Nicolette is a writer. Faith, on the other hand, built her path in Information Technology. Each of them followed their passion, and each is doing well in their chosen field.
This reinforces a vital truth: passion fuels excellence. When young people are allowed to explore their strengths and interests, they are more likely to succeed and remain fulfilled. Parents and guardians should guide, not dictate. Direction is important, but force often produces frustration rather than fulfillment.
Another critical lesson from mentorship is the danger of rushing children through life. Graduating early does not determine how far one will go. Speed is not the same as progress. Parents must pay close attention to the emotional and psychological maturity of their children. A child who is pushed ahead without adequate maturity may arrive early but remain unprepared.
There is no youth born a failure. Every child carries potential, but potential flourishes only in the right environment. Sometimes, what a young person needs most is not pressure, but belief. They need Someone who believes in them, applauds their small wins, and reassures them that they are capable. Sometimes, mentorship looks like deep conversations about the future. Other times, it looks like encouragement, laughter, and even something as simple as buying ice cream and reminding a child that they are seen and valued.
Mentorship has taught me patience in life. Growth takes time, and timelines differ. It has taught me empathy, because behind every struggle is a story. Most importantly, it has taught me responsibility. As adults, parents, educators, and mentors, we are custodians of several potential. Our role is not to mold children into replicas of our dreams, but to help them discover and refine their own.
If parents can shift their focus from pressure to preparation, from comparison to understanding, and from speed to sustainability, we will raise a generation that is not only educated, but also empowered. That to me, is the true reward of mentorship!
Tim Akano is MD/ Ceo of Newhorizon
www.timakano.com
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